During my service year, I met a lady from one of the geopolitical regions around Nigeria. I thought she was firm, ambitious, focused, determined, extroverted, loving, audacious and talented, until I was told otherwise based on her temperament.
Vera: Becca, you’re trying o. You really can tolerate people, especially someone like Donne, I can’t even pretend
Me: But I don’t have to pretend.
Vera: I know right! You are special. Not sure anyone in this PPA can accept the rubbish she does
Me: For real?
Vera: Yes, the other time, she took over the orientation programme without being asked to do so
Me: But she only volunteered, anyone could have done that. In fact, she saved the moment
Vera: What about the time she reported an examination malpractice to the principal
Me: But i also did same. Why are you not complaining about me?
Vera: Not because you’re here, Becca. But hers is different.
Vera: There is nothing good ever coming out of her Nazareth. She is rude, arrogant, self-centered…
Me: (snapped) That’s a terrible thing to say
Vera: See…I just can’t deal. Please, talk to her
The scenario above, played out every other time when there is a gist around my friend and I find it unfair for people to judge her that way. Donne goes the extra mile for others just to make sure they are alright. She doesn’t mind carrying all the responsibilities or creating one for herself for the express success of a task or project. She’s always with the “Let’s do it now” attitude – a born leader.
I accept that she is blunt, – never hides anything behind the grandiosity of words. For her, it’s a say as we go! Also, she is undaunting and it plays out in the way she confronts issues and people alike. She stepped on so many toes and acquired many enemies but yeah, I love her still.
Above all, it was in the very nature of my friend to be all those and more. She finds it confusing sometimes when she hears certain things said about her person. On the contrary, she listens when I talk to her and has a soft way of curling back, only that she will jump at the next opportunity to act even if it’s the following second.
She is a Chol-Mel Temperament Blend
Donne has a combination of Choleric and Melancholic referred to as the Chol/Mel for short- it is a temperament type. Temperaments are the way our inner being has come to appear. It is the plain on which our personality is built. If our personality is a combination of our education, socialization, family influence, and interpersonal pressure ( all those things that affect our behaviours over time), then, Temperament is rather innate and gives a definition to our personality.
Next on Temperament!
- What is the implication of a blend of temperaments, i.e Chol-mel, San/Phleg
- Can I change my temperament or do people get to accept me the way I am?
- Why do different temperaments irritate me?
- Is one temperament better than the other?